Alchemy guitar strings review

So I'm looking around my cluttered desk for something to write about.  And hey, what do I find but a box of guitar strings, several years old, minus the e-string.  Alchemy.

So why not.  Let's have some fun. 

You put the loop around here, place this part against the bar conveniently above my head, the end part around my neck, just to keep the loop from collapsing, you understand, I stand on my rollie chair to get a better grip and then I take the sting off my neck and hang a Christmas ornament.  Cuz I also have one of those just lying around in the middle April.  On my desk.  

D'aaaw, look at him, he's so ... kinda ... creepy .. 

But hey, the strings aren't not long enough to hang the ornament where I can see it.  So I try to tie several strings together.  But I cut myself, because they're sharp.  Very.  'Cause they're metal and all.  But they're also strings.

So on my way to the doctor's I start to hallucinate from Tetnus.  You know, those hot, feverish hallucinations you get when you have a fever that are exclusively about melting cheese.  Those ones, yea.  You have them too, right?  

Right?  

*silence*

So I'm driving down the street and the stoplights are turning into giant cheese wheels and spilling their gooey goodness out onto the cars below.  I turn on my windshield wipers because, you know, it's raining cheese

But the cheese is acidic so it starts eating through my windshield.  I swerve, in the middle of an intersection, to avoid a glop of cheese the size of my house and--

No, officer, it was the guitar strings, the cheese, the ornament, I swear!

10/10 would crash into truck again