Why Star Wars Fanfiction is so Good

I recently read a book called Darth Bane, some subtitle or other, and I loved it, and I hated it.  I loved the fact that the book used locations and events from one of my favorite video games, Knights of the Old Republic.

This game is amazing, both for its game play and its narrative depth.  There are a lot of beautiful set pieces, both from the original Star Wars universe and created for the game.  There is also a lot of amazing lore.

To tell you the truth, the Darth Bane book had such terrible writing that I wondered how the story managed to be so good.  It's a good story.  I later learned that the author retold a story originally published by Dark Horse Comics.  Because of this I stayed away from the rest of the books.  I had heard that the author used his own original content.  I didn't want to see it.

Then, why was it so good?  Why did I stay up late into the night reading it?






One thing: set-pieces.  I've seen a cantina.  I've been on the world of mannan.  I know what a selkath looks like, what it sounds like, what they like to do for fun.  I know what a tuta'ka is.  I've traveled through the valley of the dark lords on Korriban, the sith academy there.  I've seen Banthas and blasters and thermal detonators.

So when, out of nowhere, I read: the twi'lek ran through the korriban desert with his double-bladed lightsaber drawn--without description--I see

So, all the heavy lifting has already been done.  I know what it all looks like.  I can conjure it in my head better than any words could ever describe.  And that's why, despite the terrible writing style, I still read that Star Wars Fan Fiction, and loved it.  And that's why I hated it.

Vocaloid showdown!!

Which Vocaloid is best?  In case you didn't know, Vocaloids are the Japanese music programs which are represented as human pop singers, most of them young women, of course.  But there are some notable exceptions.

Anyways, here we go!  My top ten list!

Numberoo DIEZ (10!)

Kagamine Len

Woa, that is one hot m'fer.  And I'm not gay.  I think.  But this is more then a beauty contest.  It's a vocal contest.  Plus I'm a chauvinistic womanizer and vote women up cuz I'm attracted to them.  So there.

Seriously, though, I can't seem to like Len (left, in Japanese) as much as his sister Rin (right, aahhha.  Ha.  And hey guess what Kagami means mirror.)  He doesn't have awesome rabbit ears--hair bow thingies, for one.  And I swear I can never tell him apart from his sister, even though he's a guy.  It's as if they're the same person ...

Ddddddd nine.  (9)

IA

She's platinum.  She's--vocaloid 3, and I don't like it cuz it's not the same as Miku.  Kill me if you want, that's how it is.  She only got here because her name is cool.  And she's cute.  But so are all the others.  I mean, I haven't listened to anything by her yet--

Ok, I'm back from watching some serious IA.  I gotta admit, it's catchy.  I'm making up this list as I go, though, and I still got plenty more vocaloids I like better.

But she does get points for being sexy.









Octomate!  (sounds like squid sex[but squid don't have eight--]) *8*

Kaai Yuki

So she's here because I have a thing for little girls.  Just a thing, I swear, not that kind of thing, or that kind of thing, I just like cute dresses and, and, and ... Dresses.  Yea.

But she's voiced by a real child, so ... I have to put her here.  At the back.  I'm sorry, Yuki-chan.  You just need to upgrade your software, then I'll be there to pet your hair and, and, and.

And pigtails.  Pull on her pigtails.











Seven, the lucky number. (7)

SONiKA

SONiKA is sort of a wild card for me.  I love her character art.  I love the fact that she's british.

This
<---
is my Iphone wallpaper.

But, I can't for the life of me ever understand what she is saying.  I mean, I never can, for any of these chicks.  And guys.  But english?  Man, that's just bad manners.  Man.  So, I put here here, in spot number seven, which means I might like her better than six or five, sometimes, when I'm in a good mood.

And also when I'm really sad with my life and want an english speaking friend to cheer me up.


Six. 66.  The number of the devil.  Ish.  (6)

Kamui Gakupo 

This guy is devilishly hot.  Fiendishly handsome.  And his voice, oh, it's like the voice of Satan himself.  He is the most deserved of this apocalyptic space.  He is also the most likely to end up as the sacrifice in a cult blood ritual.  Just saying.

His voice.  Oh, wow, his voice.  So rich.  So ... vocaloidish.  Jesus it gives me chills.  But he's a guy, and I'm a chauvinistic male attracted to hot girls.  He just won't do, cluttering up my top five, attracting all the female attention.

So stay.  Good boy.



Five, a gooooolden ring (5)

Kagamine Rin

See, she's golden?

*silence.  In the background, crickets chirp.*

I love her.  She's awesome.  But she's tied to her stupid brother.  Every single time I hear her in a song I hear her stupid brother with her.  I love those floppy rabbit ears.  Bow.  Hairband.  Thingy.  Plus she's like, yellow, and awesome.  And cute, did I mention cute?  (Sadly for me, she's fourteen.  Or, maybe it's good for me.  I could use a little, little sister action.  If Kaai Yuuki weren't there already.)

Her voice: good enough.  Could be great, if not always attached to that damn Left.  Ha, his name doesn't sound as good in English, does it?  Be glad you got mentioned at all, boy.  It's because of yo' sis.



Four.  Let the defcon references begin. (4)

Megurine Luka

Sssssss.  That is one hot chick, with an even hotter hairdo.  It doesn't hurt that that leather jacket always just so short ..

I like her voice, I do.  I swear she's not up here just because I think she's cute.  I listen to her all the time, alllll the time, allll the time.  When I'm not listening to Miku.

She's got nice clothes.  What can I say?  The woman's got a sense of style.  Plus she's sizzling pink.  Really suits her.










Three blind vocaloids (3)

SF-A2 Miki

I'll admit right now, this girl only made it this high because of her name.  It's awesome.  I love tanks.  I love vocaloids.  Her name makes her sound like a tank.  SF-A2.  Just feel that f on the tongue.

She's pretty cute in her own right.  Her hair is nice, and she's always got a smile on.  Really cute, actually.  I think I'd call her the cutest vocaloid, besides Kaai Yuuki, of course.  No one can beat my Yuki-san when it comes to dem eyes.

Her voice?  I can't tell her apart from Miku.  I think that's a good thing.




Two: almost good enough.

Hatsune Miku

I know, I know, I'm being harsh, putting Miku in second.  Dearest Miku, you are my pride and joy.  I love watching you dance, you are the one who got me started down this rabbit hole.  You have been an amazing rabbit all along.  You only need a pocket watch to complete the look.

Blue is my favorite color.  Blue blue blue blue blue I love blue.  I have a figurine of Miku right next to me as I type.  I love Miku.  Miku is awesome.

So why second, you ask?  I'll show you.





one: GUMI!!

GUMI!!

Yes, GUMI.  The one and only GUMI.  She.  Is.

*whispers* amazing.

Do I even need to justify myself?  Look at that.  Just look at that.  Take a moment and study this perfect specimen.  Your eyes will let you know the answer to all your questions.

GUMI is awesome.  All hail GUMI.




And that's it for my vocaloid top ten list.  Here's a lit of video links: one for each vocaloid.

Kagamine Len (Same one as his sister)

IA (a different one than linked before)

Kaai Yuki (hehehe ...)

SONiKA (Can you understand what she's saying? I can't.  But I still love her.)

Kamui Gakupo (Dat voice.)

Kagamine Rin (Same one as her brother)

Megurine Luka (Megure means round)

SF-A2-Miki (D'aaaawwww)

The Miku (Hatsune)

(All hail) GUMI

My Mom and Girls

So I realized recently that my mother has a good eye when it comes to selecting girls that I might like.  I've always known it, but was too stupid to admit it and ended up shunning the girls because of my mother.  So, I re-evaluated my thoughts based upon what I learned while reading psychology books.  And I figured out some interesting things.

You know that adage, you like the girls that are like your mother?  The same for daughters and the father?  Well, it's true,  There's a theoretical model proposed by a PhD psychologist that explains the whole deal.  It goes something like this, if you'll excuse me getting technical.

When a child is young, it craves emotional nourishment the same way that it craves physical nourishment.  Without both, it will die.  Babies get both things at the same time: at their mother's breast.  (Haha, I said breast.  I'll cross it out and put boobies next time, just for you.)  When a mother is being suckled, she experiences deep feelings of connection with her child.  But, most humans aren't emotionally whole.  They're broken on the inside because of, well, this.  When the mother feels these deep connections, she withdraws.  The baby realizes this and reacts.  He gets hungry for emotional nourishment.  He doesn't get it; the more he chases after her, the less she gives him.  (Sound familiar?  It is.)

So that, by the time the baby has been weaned, he has learned to cope with his hunger the same way people stranded in the middle of the ocean have: by thinking about it.  As the child grows, this 'Fantasy Bond,' as it is termed by Dr. Firestone, is tailored to the individual's parents.  Their own complexes pass down to their children.  Some mothers run from their children's love.  Others chase after their children.  So what does this mean for the families my mother gets to know?  And their daughters?

Well, it means that there is a high likelihood that my mother's complexes will attract a certain kind of mother.  And that mother will have daughters with a certain type of complex.  See?  My mom does have good taste in women.

Which she rammed into my head just by being my mother.  So it's kind of fair, and it's kind of unfair.
But, I'm happy, because it makes things easy for me.  :P

Here's the book:  The Fantasy Bond, by Dr. Firestone.  Plus a lot of his other stuff, it's really cool.  Wikipedia Article
More Psych Stuff

I want to play some D&D

I want to play some D&D, but I don't have any friends.  I've also never played D&D before.  So I can't really play against myself.  Oh, boo hoo me.  I think I'll write something about it.  No, I'll put up a montage of funny D&D photos and laugh myself to tears.  Hot tears.  Sad tears.

You can do it in world of warcraft.  I think.  I've never played that either.  So there.  I have something to be proud of.

Ha.  Nerd.  I bet you wear diapers.  I mean, not that I do.  I swear.  I don't wear depends, you can ask my mother, she say's I'm a--I'll shut up now.

But, all he wants to do is sing.  

I love it.  I don't even need to say anything, this is perfect.  I think I'll hang it on my wall.

I need some friends.  I swear, I'm not crying, my diaper is still dry.  My, face diaper.  That isn't on my butt.  No, I'm not wearing a diaper.

That's all, folks.  Tune in next time for some weird whale noises.