What the hell is a siphonophore?

So I saw on facebook one of those random clicky thingies that I didn't subscribe to but keeps popping into my feed about a crazy piece of trash looking animal thingiemabob that lives at the bottom of the ocean which was captured by some dudes and I think a girl from a remote water exploration robot.

There's a gif of it too.

So.  I'm curious.  What's a siphonophore?  Can I eat one?  Can I have one as a pet?  Can I put one down a random person's shirt?  Can I smuggle one across national borders under a brown leather overcoat while wearing black sunglasses--two of them?

Let's find out.  Question one: What's a siphonophore?

According to Wikipedia, Siphonophorea are a classification of marine animals, like this baby right here,

the Portuguese Man O'War, that are colonies of gelatinous marine animals connected in streams to a floater body.  So this monster isn't one animal.  It's thousands.  That's pretty cool.  Just imagine this

 packed into this

Which is the Praya Dubia, the longest animal in the world, clocking in at a whopping 130 feet.  For reference, kids, that's

or 

That's pretty damn long.  And pretty damn cool.  So, next question: can I have one as a pet?  For simplicity's cake, I'll assume I want a man o'war as a pet, not a praya dubia.  No, scratch that.  I want a praya dubia in my swimming pool.  That way I can hang James Bond over it while I go to the store and get Ice Cream to come back and watch him die.  Later.  After I get Ice cream.  While he surely won't escape.  Because I have a praya dubia!

So: first off.  How venomous is a praya dubia?

Deadly enough to kill, says wikipedia.  What, my buddy the peds doesn't say.  Too bad.  I wanted to know if I could kill a fat guy, or if I would have to put them on a diet first before the poison would be enough to make them go bye bye.  Hey, that rhymed.  I'm so awesome.  

But, it seems that the praya dubia explodes at air pressure, and in shallow water.  So, I'd have to get a pressurized tank to hold one.  And then I wouldn't be able to dunk innocent people that charged me too much for hamburgers inside.  And that's unacceptable.  

So, no pets.  What, you're saying the city doesn't allow them anyways?  Well, who do you think you're talking to?  I don't live in this city, I am the city MWAHAHA

Ok that was kind of a lame joke.  

Next question!  Can I slide one down my buddie's spine?  

The answer--yes!  All I gotta do is take this

And do this

To produce--

I was going to show the actual effects, and then I saw what came up on Google.  So, no.  Here, google its yourself.  Go lose your lunch if that's your thing.

The answer, then, to this question?  

A resounding yes.  

Next!  Can I smuggle one across international borders?  With a really thick, really, really, really big overcoat?

Sadly, I couldn't come up with any laws against smuggling Siphonophorea.  Maybe it's because I typed, like, two search terms into Google.  

But that's not the point.  I can make some laws.  I can do it if I want to.  

I'll be all like, 

you wanna see somethin' cool?  And then I'll lift up that bulge in my jacket to reveal--

only the longest animal in existence, the praya dubia.  What, were you expecting something different?