Mwahahaha I am an author and I shall rule the world

So, my book on kindle has sold 15 copies, minus the pity buys from my mother and my uncle and the one I got for myself.  And, almost all of them were free.

But that doesn't matter.  BECAUSE I SHALL RULE THE WORLD MWAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Haha.  Whoo.  Ha  Ha.  

Ha.  

So, I know you're wondering: "Oh overlord to be, how will you conquer the world?  Surely you have a plan?" 

Oh, you bet I do.  It's time to start monolouging!  

I have a plan.  An evil plan.  A plan so genius, that I have to spill it to you.  Otherwise, no one will know that I have committed the perfect crime.  The plan?  PLAN Z!

That's right, PLAN Z!  When everyone has got a copy of my kindle book, FOR FREE, I will press this button on my desk,

AND THEN EVERYONE WILL BECOME MY SLAVE!  

And I will get to steal the krabby patty formula!  Because kindle!  And free!  YEA!

Now, all I have to do is get people to download my book ...

Hello?  Hello, is anyone there?

Hello?  I have a delicious, free bucket of chum I mean book, for FREE!

It's depressing how excited I am about this.  The green is the free downloads.  Look at me.  I'm an author oh god I think I'm going to go cry in a corner now.  Maybe I'll hire a hit-man named Dennis to take down that damned yellow sponge and end his shenanigans ... 

Ahh, who am I kidding.  I'll just write another book.  

And then I'll rule the world.